Pick Me! Pick Me! A Lesson in Humility

(Originally published on Diocesan.com)

We were moving my son out of our home and into his new apartment.

I asked, “Should I put this box here?”

He replied, “Ask her!”

“Her” referred to his future bride. This is actually happening. My son is getting married soon. They had rented an apartment together with the plan that he would live there alone until the wedding when his bride would join him.

That Others May be Chosen and I Set Aside…Jesus Grant Me the Grace to Desire It!

Realization struck me at that moment. My son viewed the apartment, not as HIS, but rather as THEIRS. He was giving his future bride complete control over organization and décor, something I had always been in charge of before. My competitive nature bristled at this and my motherly heart felt some difficult things. There was someone new. Someone who’s opinion mattered more.

John 3:22-30

In today’s Gospel, there is someone new baptizing and the people approach John in confusion. Accustomed to everyone following John, someone else is now doing the same thing. This someone is taking attention and audience away from John. This new man’s opinion mattered more. Many people were leaving John to follow him. John’s disciples and their competitive nature challenged John, maybe attempting to spark envy and jealousy in him. Isn’t it natural to want to be the most important, the leader, the most popular?

However, John’s response surprised them. He finds joy in recognizing Jesus as the Messiah. He reminds his followers that a Bridegroom is more important than the Best Man. The role of a Best Man is to “stand and listen for him and rejoice greatly at his voice.”

That Others May Increase and I May Decrease…Jesus Grant Me the Grace to Desire It!

Finally saying, “He must increase; I must decrease,” John demonstrates the true humility it takes to recognize the need to step back in order to give other people space to increase. Any time we are “In Charge” or doing something we are “good at” – no one else has space to enter in. Not unless we decrease. Become less. Stop hogging the spotlight.

We all have a gift. A purpose. A time and a place to practice those gifts. John knew his gift. His place. He knew when to step up and when to back down. He is an example for us to realize that sometimes we are not the star of the show, but rather a warm-up act or a supporting role. Whether at work, ministry, or social life.

Or even in our own family. When our own sons become bridegrooms and their future wives become the ones on whose opinion they rely. I can see in this gospel- it is time for me to decrease. To step back.

With a smile, I looked to this new woman who my son loves enough to spend his life with, and asked, “where would you like this box?”