How I became— “Ruled By Bananas!”
my story of becoming a stay at home mom
If I ever wrote a book on my life, I would call it Ruled By Bananas!
A Day in My Life:
The first things I grab in the morning when I wake is my coffee(God’s gift to me), prayerbook(my conversation with God), and a notepad to outline my day (my gift to God). My husband is an early riser and has been up for a few hours by now. Just as I finish and put down my pen, he asks, “Are you getting groceries today, we have no food”.
If only my day could ever go I planned!
I close my eyes so he can’t see them roll behind the eyelids. We have no food. None what so ever.
“What food are we out of?” I ask, getting up to look at my fully stocked fridge.
“Well, bananas.” Yep. There it was. Again.
“Yes, we have no Bananas“
Music starts playing in my head. Does anyone else know this song?
“How can we possibly be out of bananas, again. I just bought like 2 big bunches a couple of days ago!”
“Well, they are gone. You didn’t buy that many.” Sighing, I grab my pad of paper and add “Grocery store” to my to do list, which means I have to scratch out 2 the other errands that were on the opposite side of town. There is no way to do it all…
I always thought his obsession with bananas would diminish- I mean, don’t most of us, when we consume massive quantities of a specific food, eventually tire of it and move to the next thing?
Alas, it is just as strong today as it was then. At some point, I can’t remember the exact moment, I realized he would not change.
Which meant, in turn, that I would be the one that would need to change. I would need to anticipate needs, budget accordingly, purchase in varying degrees of ripeness. I would also need to make myself vulnerable by opening up my heart to him and saying out loud, “I love you so much, but sometimes I would really like to have a nice banana for myself from time to time!”
And sometimes, when they are past his preferred ripeness- he lets me have one!
Ruled By Bananas
The metaphor for my life. Am I allowed to state the obvious? My life is ruled by bananas. Which means it is not ruled by me. Time and time again I have had to surrender to God’s plan in my life. Being a wife and mother has shown me that. Never more so than when I had my first child!
Becoming a Stay at Home Mom
Believe me when I say, I was very ambitious. I always intended to have a career. I was never very patient with children and that coupled with being a horrid housekeeper, being a full time mom was out of the question. I could not even utter the word “Homemaker” without feeling physically ill.
So imagine my surprise when I had my first child and I the thought of putting my kid in daycare was what made me feel phyically ill! I will never forget looking at these care facilities. The YMCA was in our price range, and when I looked in the window I saw what seemed to be about 20 baby swings. My baby absolutely HATED baby swings. I know this because I was so excited to get him the new style baby swing that was open at the top and every time I put him in it, he would WAIL! There could be no question- it was a Hard NO!
“But what do we do?” I asked my husband. His reply changed my life. “You don’t have to go back to work, you know. My mom stayed home with us, and it was great.”
Worried about money, he told me we would work it out. I will write a separate post on how the money thing actually did always work out. I worried about a lot, actually. But one thing I did not worry about- my child was safe. With me.
This was one of my first big realizations that things were going to come up in life that make you change course. Sometimes it is small, like your to do list needs to include a grocery run to get more bananas. Sometimes it is larger things, like deciding to quit your job to be a full time mom.
Can you think of a time when your life had to take a complete change? I would love to hear about it!
I hope you will keep visiting me and learn more of how I handled this complete change in course. It was not easy. Growing up in a society telling us “we must work even if we have kids” brainwashes us into making us feel inadequate, less-than, or not enough if we are not earning our own money. My writing is going to go battle against that.
When they come to interview me for my 100th Birthday ask me if I have any regrets, I will say NO WAY. If I had not made this choice, I can guarantee you that would not be the same answer.
Margaret
Where you can find me!
I have writings on each of these websites. If interested in having me write free-lance for your publications- Click here to reach out to me!
