Building Strength in Virtue
Have you ever wondered how some people can seem to be so good at life? Have you ever been envious of the seeming ease with which people have successful marriages, great physiques, or strong faith? Dive into this article to see how you can get better at all of these things with just a little regular practice.
It was October. This means many things to many people: sweater weather, fall colors and pumpkin spice flavoring in every type of food and drink imaginable. For me — it is a time to reignite my spiritual life, bringing to mind my good habits forgotten by summer. Today this meant attending a Morning Retreat for Busy Women. The sun was shining on this beautiful morning, and I was not fully willing to let go of the summer. Even with a cooler temperature outside, I figured if my heat was on high, and my seat warmer turned on I could still ride with my convertible top down. Trying to get my routine back, I blasted my radio with my podcast of Morning Prayers and Gospel reflection.
“Stop Being Weak! Put Down the Donut!”
As my gospel reflection ended, I expected some time in silence. Immediately, I was surprised to hear another podcast, which was probably automatically queued. Reaching for the knob to turn it, the guy caught my attention… he was saying how much he disagreed with society claiming that everything today is an addiction. Having experienced addictions firsthand, my defenses began to prickle. Knowing this guy to be a Catholic (albeit a very sarcastic one), I decided (being a bit sarcastic myself) to hear him out to see where he goes with this.
He pointed out, “not discounting actual addictions such as drugs and alcohol” (ok, glad he cleared that up), “when society calls everything an addiction, people are released from any personal responsibility they may have in the bad choices they make.”
This is a very valid point. For example, an obese person can easily say, “I can’t help myself because I am addicted to food, it’s not my fault”. This justifying his choice to eat whatever he feels like eating.
The podcaster went on to say that failure to resist is a weakness. “Stop being weak, put down the donut”, he said. As someone who struggles to lose weight and who also loves donuts, I did not think this was very nice. But then again, nice is not a word one would use to describe this particular podcaster.
“My grace is sufficient, my power is made perfect in weakness’…When I am weak, then I am strong”
2 Cor 12:9-10
Weakness and Strength
This got me thinking about the relationship between weakness and strength. Saying simply “don’t be weak” is not enough. Rather, we need to build strength. How do we do that? When I think about weakness and strength, my mind automatically goes to muscles and weightlifting. Any weightlifter will tell you that you can’t just go from lifting a 15-pound weight to a 95-pound weight simply because you will yourself to “stop being weak.” Rather, every day you lift those 15 pounds, gradually increasing the weight. All the while building your strength until you can lift that 95-pound weight.
The same can be said for the vices that this podcaster refers too. We must take accountability for these vices. But rather than just “stop” them, what if we did a different thing to regularly strengthen ourselves in virtue in order to eliminate them?
Entering the retreat room, I pondered this thought as I looked at the table of goodies. What “different thing” could I do?
…at the retreat
Imagine my astonishment during our retreat when the priest began preaching about the power of repetition in building strength. As his words resonated with my earlier reflections, I couldn’t help but draw parallels to the world of weightlifting. In that realm, lifting weights is often referred to as “reps,” short for repetition, highlighting the fundamental principle of repeated actions leading to increased strength. Just like a weightlifter steadily adds more weight over time to grow stronger, we too can apply this concept to other areas of our lives. By consistently practicing and repeating positive behaviors, we gradually reinforce our strengths and overcome our weaknesses. Where else can we apply this?
Building Marriage by Being Married
The priest then delved into the intricacies of marriage, illustrating how the love and bond between a husband and wife evolve and strengthen with each passing anniversary. He emphasized that while the initial “falling in love” feelings may fade, they are replaced by a deeper, more profound bond cultivated through the daily practices of actually being married.
Recently celebrating 30 years of marriage, I reflected on our journey. Every day we are together, we must participate in our relationship, regardless of how we are feeling about each other. Recalling how we got through the bad periods, I noticed something. Even though we might not be happy with one another during a particular time, we stay together doing the regular things. In other words, the repetitive practice of being married keeps us doing actions of a married couple. Eventually, that bad period passes and, more often than not, is forgotten. The regular and repetitive practice of being married builds our marriage and strengthens our love.
Building Faith by frequent practice of Mass
The priest compared this to the regular and repetitive practice of our faith, specifically our relationship with the Eucharist. In order to strengthen our relationship with God, we need to spend more time with him in prayer. By frequent visits to Him in the Eucharist and reception of Him in communion, the stronger our relationship with Him will be. The stronger our faith will be.
I reflected on my own relationship with Mass. I remembered how I used to be so hard on myself for not attending daily Mass. Other people did it. I had the time. I had the transportation. Why couldn’t I seem to make it happen?
Start Small, Get Good, then Grow
I see now that it is because of the sinful nature of humans. We seek the easy way. When things become difficult, we make excuses rather than be accountable and work hard to get better. Much like the bodybuilder who gradually adds weights. I decided to start small and finally started worrying less about attending Mass daily. I began focusing on a smaller goal — going one extra time weekly. When I had that down, I added another one.
I realized it did not have to be all or nothing. When I stopped expecting perfection and accepted my weaknesses, I could recognize my need for God’s help. Like bodybuilder needs a trainer.
It is not enough simply to “stop being weak”. Instead, let’s find a way to become strong.
Now, I just need to let Him help me work on eating fewer donuts.
If you want to get started on a morning prayer routine- I have the perfect book for you. And it is Free! I put together a prayer book of all of my favorite morning prayers and challenge you to spend a couple of your morning minutes each day with God. Get it here!
For further reading on my ideas of Start Small, Get Good, then Grow, Read 5 Simple Morning Routines for Overwhelmed Moms. Enjoy!
